Why Are We Afraid to Acknowledge What We Really Want?
The Stories Holding You Back—and How to Break Free
For years, I walked through life with an unspoken yearning, too faint to articulate. I didn’t think I was ignoring my dreams; I thought I was being practical, responsible, even selfless. In hindsight, I realize that I wasn’t just postponing my desires—I was terrified to admit I had them.
It wasn’t until I enrolled in a coaching program, inspired by the principles from a framework that illuminates the core patterns limiting our potential, that I uncovered the truth:
I wasn’t just scared of failure—I was scared of what it would mean to succeed.
Now, I want to share 3 reasons we tend to avoid acknowledging what we want and how shifting this mindset can transform everything.
Before we get into it, keep in mind the Alignment Activator Publication is supported by reader participation. If you like what you read, share ♻️this post and comment. It’d be greatly appreciated!
We Fear Being “Too Much” or “Not Enough”
One of the first insights I gained was that many of us carry an invisible belief that who we are isn’t okay. Whether it’s feeling like we’re “too much”—too ambitious, too emotional, too complicated—or “not enough,” these stories shape our behavior.
For me, it was the latter. I often felt like I had to overcompensate just to earn the right to take up space. I saw this pattern in my career, relationships, even how I made decisions. I gave tirelessly to others, believing this would validate my worth. But the truth? It left me exhausted and unfulfilled, perpetuating the narrative that I could never measure up.
The shift came when I began to adopt a new perspective: my very existence has intrinsic value. That’s it. No extra effort required. From this foundation, I started making choices aligned with what I wanted—not what I thought would prove my worth.
We Mistake Isolation for Independence
Another powerful realization came when I explored my belief that “I have to do it all myself.” This wasn’t just a mantra—it was a survival strategy. I didn’t think I could count on anyone else to meet my needs, so I never asked for help.
But here’s the irony: the more we isolate ourselves to avoid vulnerability, the more disconnected we feel. The belief that “others don’t care” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My breakthrough happened when I redefined independence. True independence isn’t about going it alone—it’s about having the freedom to seek and receive support. I began extending myself to others, sharing my needs openly, and building connections that nourished me. It’s still a work in progress, but the impact has been profound.
We Play Small to Stay Safe
One of the most surprising insights I had while going through this program was how I unconsciously downplayed my dreams to avoid risk. I told myself I was being realistic, but what I was really doing was keeping my life small enough to avoid disappointment.
This pattern is common and deeply ingrained. Many of us learned early on that being visible or wanting “too much” was dangerous. Maybe we were dismissed, criticized, or taught to put others first. We internalized the idea that it’s safer to stay quiet and stick to the status quo.
But here’s the deeper truth I learned: staying small doesn’t protect us from pain—it just guarantees we’ll never reach the fullness of our potential, which can offer so much joy and satisfaction. When I started presencing my visibility—showing up as myself, unapologetically—it was scary, yes, but also exhilarating.
One of the practices that helped was creating a “deeper truth statement.” For me, it became: “I came here to be seen and to have a profound impact on the world.” Repeating this to myself shifted my focus from fear to possibility.
The Transformation: A Life of Alignment
These principles didn’t just help me uncover why I was holding back—they gave me a powerful roadmap for moving forward. By addressing these patterns, I’ve started living with a level of clarity and confidence I never thought was possible. I’ve come to understand that my desires aren’t a burden—they’re a compass pointing me toward my most authentic, fulfilling life.
That’s why I’ve made it my mission to guide other mid-career professionals who feel disconnected from their desires and aspirations. Using the same principles from the framework that helped me, I’ve designed a coaching program to help you break free from limiting patterns, reconnect with your desires, and create a life where your work and well-being thrive in harmony.
The stories we tell ourselves—about being too much, not enough, or better off alone—are universal, but they don’t have to define your future. My coaching program provides a safe, supportive space for you to explore what you want and create the plan and confidence to pursue it. When you’re ready, you can send me a message for more information.
It’s time to stop wondering what’s possible and start building the life you’ve been quietly dreaming of. Take the first step today—your transformation is waiting.
Here’s to rewriting the stories that no longer serve us and stepping into the vast, beautiful possibilities waiting on the other side.